


Before He Cheats

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, F/M, Humor, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-28
Updated: 2009-02-28
Packaged: 2018-10-01 02:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10178129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: My variation on a song-fic I saw over at www.tthfanfic.org.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

A/N: Okay, this features Carrie Underwood's 'Before He Cheats'. I don't own either the song nor the characters I'm playing with. This is inspired by a similar story found over at www.tthfanfic.org with the same title.

"Right now he's prob'ly slow-dancing with some bleach-blonde tramp and she's prob'ly getting frisky."

Ginny Weasley glared across the club at her so-called boyfriend who was dancing with someone else, while she was up on the stage singing Carrie Underwood's 'Before He Cheats', during her 'Ladies Night Out' with Luna, Hermione, Parvati and Padma. It probably wouldn't have been a big deal if it was someone like Luna or Hermione, she'd have known that it would be purely innocent. But for it to be Malfoy? That was another matter entirely. The former Slytherin had been trying to get into her man's pants for years.

"Right now, he's prob'ly buying her some fruity little drink cuz she can't shoot whiskey."

After their dance ended, Harry Potter pulled Draco Malfoy to the bar, where the blonde ordered some orange-ish-pink drink, while the brunette did a shot, before leading his companion towards the pool tables. It was amazing how the lyrics of the song were playing out in front of her, albeit with a man instead of another woman.

"Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...And he don't know..."

Sure enough, she could see her _boyfriend_ in a rather intimate-looking position showing the blonde how to properly hold his pool cue. How she'd love to shove the whole thing up his ass. Unfortunately, he'd probably like it.

"That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats...I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

_Now there's a thought,_ thinks Ginny with a smirk. _Doing that to the Benz that he's so fond of..._

"Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke.."

Okay, so he couldn't do that since she was currently onstage at the moment.

"Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk" and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky"

_If he even_ THINKS _that, I'm gonna hex his bollocks off_ swears the red-head to herself. _Then where would he be? Hmmm....better hex Malfoy's off too for good measure._

"Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...And he don't know..."

_He better not be. That cologne he likes so much costs thirty-five pounds a freaking bottle!_

"That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."

_Maybe I should stop singing this song, because that is sounding better all the time._

"I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, Cause the next time that he cheats...Oh, you know it won't be on me! No...not on me..."

_It's not the next girl I'm worried about, it's the next_ guy _that's the problem._

"'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats...I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...Ohh... before he cheats..."

As she finished the song, she noticed that both Harry and Malfoy were dancing, and it was anything but platonic, given the way they were grinding against each other.

_That's it! No more Mrs. Nice Gal! I'm gonna do exactly what that song says, except I'm gonna do it Weasley-style!_

With that thought, she hurries off the stage and out the entrance, going immediately to Harry's Mercedes. She pulls her wand and, after making sure no one is watching, goes to work. Soon, all four tires are on the ground in ribbons, the headlights have imploded, her name is carved, not only into the leather seats, but into the hood of the car as well. Deep gouges scored the rest of the previously beautiful fire engine red sports car and she still wasn't finished with her revenge.

While she was deciding what to do next, Harry and Draco come out of the club only to see her standing before the car deep in thought.

"GINNY! What the bloody fuck are you doing to my car!" bellowed the brunette.

"What does it look like Einstein?" retorts the red head before raising her wand and hexing both men. "Maybe next time you'll think before you cheat!" she cheerfully calls out to both men, who are rolling on the ground in agony holding their crotches, before disapparating with a crack.

A/N: I know, that was vicious. :D


End file.
